Unexpected

It was yesterday that i was still planning for a big surprise for Valentine's Day. Little did i expect these to happen, at all.

You simply can't answer my questions and the only thing you wanted was to put down the phone, you claim that you don't feel like talking bout it. I ask you what is the reason and you tell me 'no reason'. Whatever i said, you just kept saying that you want to put down the phone.

Such a simple question and it takes you forever to answer me, sometimes you cant even answer me after thinking for a very long time. What are you trying to hide? What are you up to? I think you fucking are cheating on me, which is well, not up to me. But the very least you could do is to tell me, that you want somebody else. Or if you are not, then tell me what are you doing?

Things are just not the same anymore. I used to tell you that i was afraid that our 'honeymoon period' will be over and that things might start to change after that, and you said that there'll be no such thing as a honeymoon period for us because things will never change, it will only get better.

What a lie. Everything is starting to change or already changing now. I know you are busy with your work and you have datelines for submission. So do i! Whenever i complain bout the time you can never have for me and that your work seems much more important to you, you scolded me. You asked me if i would be happy if you quit school and then spend all your time with me.

And whenever i ask you why are you so slow in doing you work, it upsets you. You said you are trying to speed up, but your trying trying never seems to make a difference in you having time for me or not. I don't understand why all these is happening at all. You used to always tell me that i am more important than your work, then how come you don't seemed to be walking the talk?

I value a man with absolute honesty, is that you?

How can you run away from problems like that, when you were the one who taught me that i shouldn't and that it should be solved immediately. How can you say you love me when you don't want to talk to me? How do you want me to understand you when you keep everything to yourself?

Why can your ex-girlfriend, Wenling, controlled you and manipulated you like you said she did, but i cant even talk to you when you say you love me much much more, in fact, the most and the only one you love now?

I was afraid to let it all go because i loved you so much and i can't imagine a life without you. Now, everything that you do is pushing me away from you and i know i can't make you happy. I don't know how to cheer you up when you are down, i don't know what you really want and i don't even know how to stop upsetting you even though i very much want to make you happy.
You are tired, tired, tired most of the time. Is there anything i can do? To let you sleep maybe? So.... If you sleep when i'm with you and you spend your time doing other stuffs when i'm away, it means we don't get to communicate or talk right? I'm not saying you cant, but at least you can give me some respect and attention by maing effort to talk to me about stuffs, and that doesn't include the times you repeat bout how tired you are.

I want a closure. I want my questions answered. I want my doubts cleared.
Do you want all that?

Don't cry,sweetie!

PEA! If you remember that this is you i am talking about, cheer up!
You know you will always always have me, so don't be a silly pie okay?

*HUG

Thanks for telling me how you feel and i am so sorry to have neglected you, it was truly not intentional and if only i have the luxury of time, i would gladly and love to hang out with you EVERYDAY! But you know you have to work on weekends and we never seemed to be free on the same time of the day.

It's no excuse of course, you are in my mind, my heart and you will always be part of my life till the very last moments.
I love laughing with you, hanging out or just talking. Just like you are thankful to have me, the same works for me.

I've got no complains for a friend like you, i can trust you and tell you my little secrets and i know in my heart that you will always stand by me, no matter what. Precious people like you don't come by easy for me and i will even let you chip my freshly painted nails!

Meet up real soon and be a happy baby.
Love love!

p.s. get well soon, pains my heart for you to be sick.

This is it.

I feel completely restrained now, i requested for something and i got the answer that i never thought i would have coming from that someone. It is not so much about the rejection that disappoint me and makes me feel utterly restless today but the very fact that i thought i could always go over if i need the space.

Yeah, nothing is done so far and no photoshoots.
Do you really think sorry helps, or at least a little bit? I think, not.
You know how small my freaking table is, i don't even have the floor space to work on and how warm my room is when there is no rain. You think i can do anything bout that, huh? Do you think i want things this way?

CAN YOU STOP BEING IRRITATING?! CAN YOU STOP IT WITH THE PHOTOSHOOT WHEN I AM TALKING BOUT THE WORKSPACE THAT I NEED THAT I DON'T HAVE AT HOME?

I WOULD'VE FREAKING DONE PART OF MY WORK OR MEET MY FRIENDS THE PAST FEW DAYS IF IT ISN'T FOR THE VERY FACT THAT I WANT TO HELP YOU.

ARGH!
Lesson learnt.

Happy New Year 2007!

Sunday was nice, Earl and i went to Vivocity for the second time, only that this time we stayed and have fun unlike the other time where we headed out of it almost immediately after we arrived. It was fun taking pictures and having good food as well!

Tried Bakerzinn for the very first time and it was awesome.
Only that the dessert we had was very disappointing and it sort of spoiled the meal. BLARGH!

Picture of us looking happy. Teeheehee.

We went to several places for photoshoot after that and it was all nice.

Anyway, it was fun hanging out like old times.
It's been awhile that we had so much fun.

Ooh oh HAPPY NEW YEAR 2007!
May all the good things come into your life and i freaking do well in whatever that i do!
Let's do good and fight bitches!
WHOOOOHOOOO~!

I have to go get started with my work now, been procrastinating for the past few days/weeks. Going to take photos later as well, hope that i get all the good shots in a very short time.

AHH! I almost forgot, i bought a juicy bag yesterday, it is such a steal! Wait till i take pictures of it, i'll post it up here to show off.. LOL! Jk.. The true intention is to make myself feel good, afterall it's my blog and i feel like it. Yippee!
Got To Go! *zooooooom~~


If only there was a gun whose trigger i could pull, that would put my to sleep and let me wake up right next to you.